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- Pen Pal Dating
Pen Pal Romance
by: Skye Thomas
We have all heard the wonderfully
romantic stories of pen pals that wrote
to each other for years without meeting
because they lived hundreds or even
thousands of miles apart. Some friend of
a friend set them up as pen pals or she
decided to write to some unknown soldier
away at war. They exchanged a few
pictures and spent countless hours
drafting letters back and forth, baring
their hearts and souls to each other.
Without ever dating, they fell in love.
When one could eventually travel across
the distance to finally meet the other,
they both knew immediately that this was
indeed the one they'd spend the rest of
their life with. The physical attraction
was every bit as strong as the emotional
attraction they had felt for each other.
It's a classic story that's existed as
long as there's been a postal system for
delivering the letters between would be
lovers.
Today we have an Internet version of
the same thing. People go to these dating
sites to find love. It seemed a bit weird
at first like most things that are new
and different, but eventually we became
used to the idea. Is it really any
different than meeting in any other
manner? You still have to weed through
the riffraff. You still have people
presenting themselves as something other
than what they really are. You still have
crooks and cheats, predators. And you
still have honest real folks looking for
true love. You still have single parents
worried that people won't accept their
kids as part of a package deal. You still
have married folks looking for a way to
cheat on their partners. The only real
difference is how fast the system works.
You can weed through a heck of a lot of
less than desirable matches really fast
and you don't even have to waste time or
money on dinner and movies, or on
babysitters and a new dress.
It's my hope that you would take your
time with the ones who do seem promising.
When you find a profile that seems
interesting, don't rush through the
process. Sure, a lot of people say that
the eyes are the windows to the soul and
that you need to meet in person to get a
real feel for each other. And there is a
lot of truth to that. Ultimately you do
have to meet in person to determine if
there's any type of chemistry between you
or not. It's not something that can be
logically determined You feel it or you
don't and you won't know until you meet
them face to face. But what about those
old pen pal stories? They fell in love
without it being about sexual attraction.
When we meet face to face with someone
that we are physically attracted to, it's
human nature to want to speed up the
process so that we can get to the really
good stuff! I'm thinking that if we took
more time in the passing notes back and
forth portion before actually meeting
face to face, then we'd be more inclined
to fall for the person inside rather than
for the physical beauty that can be so
blinding to the truth about people. We
all know someone who's been completely
consumed by a hot passionate attraction
for someone who was so incredibly wrong
for them. It takes forever for them to
open their eyes and see the sexy person
for what they really are. Please don't
think that I'm saying that all good
looking people are bad relationships
waiting to happen. I just don't want you
to confuse sexual attraction with real
intimacy.
If you're just looking to get laid,
then by all means disregard this article!
It's not written for you. If you're
looking to find that once in a lifetime
incredible love, then why not take the
extra time to do it right? Why not agree
to write emails back and forth for a
while before meeting in person? Chances
are you've already seen their picture on
the matchmaker's web site. Make up fun
questionnaires for each other to fill
out. Ask them all sorts of interesting
questions about themselves like 'if you
could invite four people to dinner
regardless of what time in history they
lived or died, who would it be and why?'
Ask them what their number one biggest
regret is in life. Ask them what their
number one most embarrassing moment in
life is. Ask them what their number one
best shining moment was. Ask them if they
felt loved as a child. Ask them if they
have felt loved as an adult. What is
their next wild adventure in life going
to be? Have fun really getting to know
each other before you meet in person.
Have a real bond based on more than the
fact that you both like moonlit walks on
the beach and want to someday have
children. When you do finally meet, you
won't suffer those uncomfortable silences
either, you'll have shared laughs and
have plenty to talk about. You'll already
be real friends.
So many people put in their profiles
that they only want to meet people that
are close to home, 50 miles, 100 miles,
etc. Why not reach out across the globe.
Why not find new pen pals to write to?
Even if you never fall in love, you've
gained a new friend and the experience of
feeling connected to others. Who knows
maybe your soulmate is just across the
ocean. Perhaps they're waiting for a note
from you in their inbox. Perhaps you'll
become one of those wonderful love
stories worth telling your grandchildren
about. "Yep, your grandmother and I
wrote back and forth for a year before I
finally saved up enough money to fly over
and meet her. And let me tell you, the
first time I laid eyes on her I knew that
she was the only one for me. She was well
worth the wait!"
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas,
Tomorrow's Edge
About The Author
Skye Thomas began writing books and
articles with an everyday practical
approach to life in 1999 after twenty
years of studying spirituality,
metaphysics, astrology, personal growth,
motivation, and parenting. After years of
high heels and business clothes, she is
currently enjoying working from home in
her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to
read more of her articles and to get a
free preview of one of her books.
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net
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