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The Art of Seduction
by: Sharon Jacobsen
Seduction is a question of subtle
strategy with one ultimate goal - to have
sex with someone.
The desire for sex is powerful; for
some it can be as powerful as the need to
eat and breath. Seduction is the road we
take to achieve sexual satisfaction.
While the ultimate goal is to have
sex, there are lots of smaller goals that
need to be reached along the road to the
sexual surrender of our chosen partner.
For some, the thrill of seduction lies
in the chase rather than the conquest.
The excitement of wanting and pursuing
someone can give a sense of satisfaction
in itself. For others, the electric
thrill comes from knowing that another
person's sexual attentions are focused on
them. Those who thoroughly enjoy the
chase are generally people with plenty of
self-confidence and their confidence
increases the likelihood of success.
Those who are less confident usually
find seduction far more difficult. How
can you convince a member of the opposite
sex to fancy you if you see yourself as
being unattractive?
It's important that you choose the
right person to seduce. This is more a
matter of instinct than anything else but
most of us endeavour to make
conversation, or at least some eye
contact, with a potential partner who we
consider to be our equal on the scale of
physical appeal.
Once you've sought out your 'prey' you
need to decide whether the time and/or
situation is right for seduction. If the
object of your passion is somebody you
see on a regular basis, the time/place
being wrong may very well add to the
thrill. If you're getting the right
feedback, the knowledge that the other
person is interested but that you can't
do anything about it just yet can
increase the feelings of arousal and
excitement.
But how do you know that he's
interested? The best clues come from
reading body language. Non-verbal signals
are far better indicators of how a person
feels about you than anything they may
actually say verbally. Those with an open
posture are usually more available than
those who stand with their arms crossed.
The eyes are the biggest give-away when
it comes to seduction. If he returns your
gaze, and especially if he holds eye
contact with you longer than is usually
acceptable, then the chances are you're
on to a winner. Trust your instincts.
You'll 'feel' whether he's interested or
not. Small gestures and tone of voice
tell us a lot about how the other person
feels about us.
Flirt. Did I really need to mention
that? Flirting is used in two ways. We
flirt with others to remind our partner
that we still need to be wooed by him,
but when used for seduction, it's a means
of keeping the other person interested
and aroused as well as letting them know
that they are unlikely to be rejected.
Men, who are generally the pursuers, are
highly dependent on women's signals to
reassure them that they are 'onto
something'. Playing hard-to-get isn't
particularly attractive to men unless
you're sending out enough signals to
assure him that it really is just a game
and that you are indeed 'gettable'. Let
him know that the chase will most likely
be worth it in the end.
Once you've made contact with him,
you'll need to let him know where the
encounter is likely to be heading. People
have very different ideas of what sex
should be so it's important that you both
know that you're looking for the same
things. This doesn't mean that you should
just blurt out "I'm a dominatrix,
how d'ya fancy being whipped?" or
anything else quite as obvious. You can
if you really must, and you never know,
it might just work, but in general the
subtle approach is more likely to get you
what you want. Men generally take the
lead in this area, asking questions and
trying to access whether you'd make a
satisfactory sex partner. Follow his
lead. The questions probably won't be
direct (depending upon the man), but they
will be based around 'self-disclosure'.
He tells you some, you tell him some.
People typically discuss sex in a
light-hearted, abstract manner when
accessing a potential partner, testing
each other in a non-committal way.
Now that you're speaking you'll need
to sustain his interest. Two people
who've found each other through physical
attraction may not have the right
chemistry to move along the road of
seduction once mouths have been opened.
Look for signs of acceptance or
rejection. If you pick up on any signs of
rejection, don't waste your time on
something that is very unlikely to
happen, no matter how much you fancy him.
There are plenty more available males
about just waiting to be seduced.
If you're still doing fine and the
signals are good, it's time to move onto
the final yielding. One of you must
surrender. In all probability it will be
you, because even if you initialised the
seduction, he will probably have taken
over the role of pursuer somewhere along
the line. The roles of 'hunter' and
'prey' have been decided through
thousands of years of evolution, and
usually fall naturally into place.
Surrender and enjoy!
About The Author
Sharon grew up in East London but
moved to Norway at the age of 19,
returning to England in 1998. She now
lives in Cheshire with her partner and
two of her three children. Besides
writing, she is currently studying Social
Science with The Open University, runs a
web site where women in the UK can meet
other women for platonic friendship (www.friendsyourway.co.uk),
potters in her garden, knits and reads
everything she comes over.
s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk
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